Happiness and spirituality. The words should give you a sense of overriding bliss, peace, abundance, and gladness. All those beautiful states really exist, beyond the pithy images conjured up by language. They exist within you, and that’s grace. They are blessings. We have been given glorious gifts.
It is sometimes difficult to recover ourselves. That’s true for all of us. It doesn’t have to be difficult most of the time, though. Spirituality contains the realization that you still climb upward even when you do not exert yourself.
All these efforts are only a struggle between spirit and ego. It’s just the madness when we don’t feel worthy of the gifts. It’s just the rebellion of children who do not wish to yield to the divine consciousness.
When there is stillness within us even while we continue to climb, we wander in grace.
Whether we dream ourselves as walking through a labyrinth of demons or consorting with inexpressibly beautiful spirits, there is always the touch of sadness. That is how it should be. Without the touch of sadness, there would be no happiness. The touch of sadness is the terrible beauty of happiness and spirituality.
Whether we accept that all things bound up in time will dissolve into it or not, there is still the touch of sadness. We will all lose these material things we have gathered. We will lose our relationships. These bodies, these minds, and these identities will all fade away. For all that, the exchange of one dream for another is not the touch of sadness.
The touch of sadness that underscores spirituality is the sensitivity of a bared soul.
As we shed the fictions of our egos to bathe in grace, we walk unclothed and innocent. When we find ourselves in contact with lower vibrations or energies, it is painful and sad. When that time comes for you, you have two choices. You can retreat and cover your soul again with ego, hiding from grace along with the pain. Or you can stay with the sadness of the exposure, which transforms it and you.
Cultivating the touch of sadness is how we work in the garden of spirit. It comes as little treasures.
Do you feel a pang of loss when you unthinkingly crush a spider?
Do you hurt a little when you consume meat, when you eat of the slaughter?
Do you grieve a little after you laugh at a joke that mocks or belittles someone?
Are you saddened after you make a concession that treats someone like a commodity?
If you do, you can retreat when it happens. You can think badly of yourself or the world. You can rationalize it away with excuses of context and appropriateness. If you choose to think yourself away from the pain, you’ll be fleeing from grace.
When you feel the touch of sadness, you can also choose to stay with the terribleness of it. You can fully experience it without making excuses or laying blame. Eventually, if you center yourself, you’ll come out the other side. When you do, you’ll be grateful that you weren’t so numb that you couldn’t feel it.
You’ll also be grateful that you were nudged back toward the light by one who forever loves you.