via Wikimedia Commons
Earlier this week, under the dripping sky, I sat against one of the brick retaining walls on our property and sought to recover full presence. It had been a rough day at work, I had been unable to meet a deadline, and while I was not possessed by negativity I was still uncentered by the failed expectation. Mollie, our pretty recent pound rescue and Australian Shepherd mix, was the only dog to brave the rain and come sit with me. As usual, she decided to dig herself a nice little hole to curl up in.
Above and behind me, in the dirt held back by the retaining wall.
After perhaps twenty minutes, she decided her den wasn’t good enough and dug deeper, launching a huge cascade of mud to the back of my head and down the back of my neck.
“Mollie, Mollie, Mollie.” What else could I say? The family noticed something unusual and were watching with broad smiles as I tried without success to get some of the filth out of my hair. I was destined for a high-pressure shower.
She’s not a bad dog. It was a little accident. It was a situation of humor. I do not need to rationalize or tell myself these things – it was immediately apparent. Yet, I know full well that many of us – including myself – are sometimes immensely disturbed by these things. If you pay attention to the current moment, remaining mindful, you will grant yourself the chance to consider not getting upset. That is a gift to both you and the being behind the accident (which is perhaps also you).
We are not yet grown. We are yet still children of God, our creation is simultaneously complete and unfolding. Far, far beyond the rhetoric of the self-improvement people who insist that failure is something we should seek after and accept, the truth is that it is ridiculous to hold a grudge against a child for an accident or failure.
Even when you are that child.
This morning I inadvertently crushed a snail. I offered a prayer then and again here – may that being’s journey continue swiftly and be full of Love and grace. What difference is there between Mollie’s avalanche onto me and my avalanche onto the snail?
What little accidents are you holding in your heart? Failed deadlines, bad performance? Did you snap angrily at your spouse or children? Did you judge yourself as low and unworthy because of them? Did you delight, in your heart of hearts, when you or someone else messed up?
Did you fail to tell someone you loved them before they left this place?
You were not mindful then, but you can be mindful now. It is never too late. You can reconsider these things, allow the regret or anxiety to bloom once more in your heart, and grant them passage. You can consider not getting upset, regardless of the timeline of events, regardless of whether or not we are talking about getting upset about being upset. Feeling fully and living authentically, let go of your grudges against children. If you choose to do so, then you will find that little accidents are nearly always lotus flowers that did not bloom until you allowed them to surface from your depths.
As we pray for beings to journey swiftly and be fully conscious of Love and grace, we too surface and bloom.