Amid all this certainty, the jewel of uncertainty shines.
The certain is darkness. When you are certain, you are blind to the approaches of ephemeral phantasms of spirit that flutter close and whisper, then streak away. In the certain career, you cling to an identity that defies calls for transformation. In the certain relationship, you cling to a bounded form that refuses the evolution and immediacy of the other.
If you listen to the people at the market, we live in very uncertain times and must find certainty. If you listen to the preachers on the corners, they point to God as the one certainty in the ceaselessly changing tides. But both advocates of the world tell you wrongly.
The world’s transformations are heartbreaking when we cling and that clinging is refused. God is not certain for He is unbounded; you cannot capture Him in language or thought. Certainty itself is just a man-made thing, a toy of the Child of God. It is a blindfold, a wall, a veil. It is sleep and dreams of dominion.
But look outside, and see how the sunshine glitters on the crushed quartz and bowing grasses. Listen to the tinkling of the wind-chimes, hear them laughing. Let the cool winds overlap the spilled sunshine as you sit for a while underneath the rolling sky. All this is the jewel of uncertainty. All this is grace. It is beyond fixed form.
Busy about the errands of the comprehended, things take a form and rhythm. We imagine we understand ourselves through our roles and tasks. But it is a great darkness, a falsehood, and it disperses in meditative setting. The fathomable is a great fabric of refusal, and when it is torn the light of the garden spills out.
Those who are torn and ripped by confounded expectations hunger after fulfilled expectations, and so they talk sublimely about finding their purpose and identity. Those who are, at the moment, gladly fulfilled in their clinging – they feel themselves to have succeeded in building a house out of sand – are greatly admired and pursued. But all these are alone, they have turned away from the light and shut up their eyes against the phantasms of spirit.
Only those who hold the jewel of uncertainty hold a lantern up to the setting sun.