Aggression is bound up in ego and identity. There is the primary mental experience of aversion and dislike we experience with the other. That’s quickly followed by mental chasing of the blank banner – we pursue the thought, have internal dialogues, and dissolve in a frenzy. Then comes action, then violent reactions to that expression, and then the cycle begins anew.
We can, by adjustment of perspective, switch over to a different, “higher” set of egos and identity. Rather than forms of the world, we can become aware of these energies and habits. There is no difference at all between the negative behavior of another and our reactive surge of stress and discomfort. We experience the very same negativity differently with different people. Until we see this, we are only addressing symptoms.
Of course, the pride and identity even at this secondary perspective are false and dualistic too. But that distance can be hard to maintain when an especially sensitive mental wound is triggered. It is hard to remain fully aware when a familiar lifelong pain floods your inner valleys. As temporary bandages only, then, I offer you a new mental habit to keep perspective. Let it serve you only as long it is useful.
When the inner flood of torment comes, know it as separate from whatever triggered it. Address that flood, and say to it:
I will not be diminished by the likes of you.
Suddenly, a new strength will surge up in your limbs as you remember your divine birthright and ultimate freedom. It might be a mantra for a long time. Many things like addiction and wounded relationships are wars rather than individual battles.
When the dark craving comes and you would prefer oblivion to standing in the bloody waters, refuse the oblivion:
I will not sink into the likes of you.
A step back in mind, and other whispers become audible in your mind. You will hear the whispers of spirit calling you into some other activity that will represent healing.
When the angry or irritating person provokes the fires of wrath, refuse that dark flame:
I will not be bound by the likes of you.
For the anger is a binding, a cage, and you are subservient to whatever it is you hate. In your refusal, you will be as a mountain being attacked by a goat. You will be a sky attacked by a lightning cloud.
To stand tall and abide without becoming subservient will bring healing into the wounds. We are not confronted by shadow aspects of ourselves so that they will overcome us. It is a self-inflicted punishment to wear them as clothing in the world. Shadow aspects come to us as beggars and fever victims, and in our peaceful refusals and gentle hands they become transformed. Slowly, inevitably, the bloody waters clear. The tormenting fires of wrath become the transformative hands of embodied grace. The waveforms of compassion and work done for Spirit transmute the energies of betrayal and violence.
Let the expression of illness become the provocation of its healing.