The project taking longer than expected. The struggle to maintain the balance of freedom and discipline for your child. The mess on the kitchen counter, the hopeful look in the dogs’ eyes, the seeking after solitude simultaneous with closeness in relationships. The creative block.
All these ideals are enormous weights we carry.
They are burdens of a mind pointed to the future or past and burdens of the heart desiring after perfection, and we stagger under their loads, and they seem impossibly difficult at times.
But the burden of expectations does not truly exist, even if they originate in someone else.
When you choose to carry these things, you feel heavy – a beast of burden fully loaded, a driven creature pursuing the very same checklists and schedules you carry. The weight of shadows crowds around and constricts our consciousnesses, driving out happiness and enthusiasm while somehow urging us to accomplish more faster.
When the weight causes you to stumble, you don’t need to simply “cowboy up” and carry on. Just as you confined yourself, you can free yourself.
Wander outside and look for a patch of sunlight. Set a timer for a half hour – or not. Sit in the light, cross-legged will do, and close your eyes. Whatever else arises, simply watch your breath. Return to it again and again as our star warms your cheeks and our winds whisper to you. Perhaps you’ll find the urge to pray arise – let that be the only exception you make to your dedication to your breath, if so.
This is a simple mindfulness meditation, and there’s endless complexity you can bring into it. Endless styles and sophistications from various traditions, if you dig into it. But, hand mudras or not, lotus pose or not, the conjunction of your breath, the sun, and the wind will free you.
The project taking longer than expected will get done in its time. Your children will turn out great if you just keep seeking the best way of offering your love to them. The kitchen counter, the dogs, your relationships, your art – all these simply need your love and they will fruit in their season.
Freed of the ideals, there’s an inexpressible lightness of being. The lightness of being is your natural state, your created nature as a Child of God… such bliss and blessings abound in the simple things.
A hummingbird came briefly to me in today’s sitting, and I flew away with him.